Facebook Love & Affairs...

You ever heard of Emotional Affairs?

Flutter. Flutter. Flutter.

How we feel the excitement in the air and our blood boiling with lustful dreams when we reconnect with that old flame.  It's an opportunity to "get things right this time around"; it's fate which gives us a "second chance". Those flashing warnings of "remember, you broke up for a reason" or those "what happened in the past, stays in the past," all goes out the door.

And it should!!   ...Sometimes...

Why not take that opportunity, given a chance, if you have it now. Why not?!

I say, GO FOR IT .... if you are both already available, that is.

Be careful of that dream catcher when you are already in a dedicated relationship. That love, or lustful, excitement for that OTHER PERSON would only last for so long (two years most times) when you do GO FOR IT. 

And when it's just an "online thing" it isn't, IS NOT, "just innocent" when you're already in a relationship.  You could rationalize all you want that, you're NOT doing that physical connection, or "horizontal dance," as some call it....  You're just chatting. ONLY chatting. You're just texting. You're just emailing. You're just doing it online.  No harm done.

Because in the beginning, you're really just curious and you're really JUST FRIENDS.

There's a new type of an affair in town, people, and it's rapidly spreading. It's called

Emotional Affair, and it's just as harmful, if not more so, as a physical one.

What's so powerful about it is that it all takes place in the mind, and the mind can be a

powerful place to make things come true, which included the negatives. Once the idea is in your mind, it's like an addiction, and you can't get over it; you can't get under it; and you can't get around it.

You're stuck!

You can't wait until that next instant message, to see their availability online, to smile, to laugh, to desire, to love. You crave for it. You hunger for it. You can't control your thoughts, your mind, because you're always thinking of the next time you will be able to make that connection again.

It's an UPPER! It's a DRUG!! There's someone out there who thinks you're wonderful, who understands you, who desires you like no one else. It feels like the perfect way to fulfill your desires without the actual guilt of doing the "actual act". And, in most cases, it feels like True Love.

And the problems in your current relationship SWELL.

You're too busy concentrating on the good feelings of that online connection, that you don't want to deal with the negative ones any more; the ones that bring you down, your current relationship. You just want to feel what LIFTS YOU UP.

And even when people say, and even when you know, that EVERYONE, including that online digital connection you feel so strongly for, has ISSUES, you just can't seem to see it: their faults, their negatives, their issues.... Because it just feels too good.

What has happened is that your love tank in your current relationship has run dry. It's

completely empty. And you can't find a way to fill it up again except with this digital love or

lust.

The love tank. I learned about that in that book The 5 Love Languages I blogged about previously. It's the perfect definition to explain what happens in relationships that fall under this new wave of affairs: The Emotional Affair. It's just so easy to concentrate on the good and positive of that digital affair than to deal with the negatives in the real and current relationship.

But you can only run from your problems for so long. And jumping into another relationship, no matter how great it appears to be, would only bring about other issues that you just didn't see when you were in that drunk emotional state.

Yeah. You are drunk. Drunk! Emotionally Drunk. Inebriated by that desire, or love, and you can't see straight, or see the most common sense issues, with that new focus in your life. You have no sensible logic or reason, and your mental faculties are impaired.

It's time to take that 12-Step program to get over that emotional-addicting behavior. And I'm

not saying this will repair or make things work with the current one, but it should be done so

that you would have a much clearer mind, instead of the the emotionally drunk way of thinking, when making that decision to go into that other relationship. You would also have a clear conscience that you made the right decision, rather that is to leave your current relationship or go into the next.

You just might find out, in most cases, you won't want either person: your current nor your

digital one, because neither is right for you.

Release the fear and accept the dream.

There's a reason why you're emotionally addicted, because there's a dream that you want, and currently you don't have it. You must first be sure to know what that dream is, and with who.

The steps below could start you off on making your dream come true by detaching yourself from the addiction and move forward to having a sober mind on where you heart should be.....

Step 1: Be honest with yourself: Admit that you are crazy about this person, which is usually quite easy for some, but some don't openly admit it at all. They just keep denying it. So, be truthful.

Step 2: No you CAN NOT BE FRIENDS!!!: This person wasn't a friend before and isn't now. This person was in your soul and in your heart. Be truthful to yourself as in Step 1. You can't be a friend with this person. Period. And you MUST tell yourself that you can't be friends. It will just be too painful, and much too tempting, to try to "turn back the clock". The "friend cage" is not where you want to be, because eventually the charade will come undone, and you're unlocking the door of the cage. What will pour in would be pain and guilt. Don't even attempt to do the "friend game". You must let go completely.

Step 3: Write a list: People say this, but I always thought it was stupid. I already know what the problems are and what I want, why do I have to write them down? Admittedly, you really have to just try it out to see how it helps. Acknowledge the reasons why you're unhappy in your current relationship. Write down a list. Write it! Write it! Do it! Do it! Yes, do it! Write the list. What you'll find is that the list will help you focus and put things in perspective. A list of what you don't like and what you do like, will make things quite clear and real. It makes it so it's not really just in your head. Putting the list down on paper (or digital word process or

spreadsheet) and looking at it again, makes it truthful to yourself. You might find yourself

adding more and more once you get started. The list help to accept what you want and what you don't want and provides a clear understanding for yourself.

Step 4: Remove all connections with your love/desire:  Yeah. This is a hard one. Because you'll be scrambling around trying to find that information again when you want to get back in touch with that person. But, you can't keep focus with something sitting on your stomach. I mean literally. Imagine someone sitting on your stomach. They aren't going anywhere. They only way to get them off of you is to move them out your way. Push up hard and kick them out. Take baby-steps and just BLOCK them from Facebook, remove them from your chat list, so you won't see what they're doing and know when they're logged in. Delete all the history and remove/block from them from your cellular phone. All of these lines to your love/desire, all of these things are TORTURE DEVICES. Removing them from all digital devices will make you, force you, to take steps where you start concentrating on other things besides your emotional addiction.

Step 5: Don't be a ghost:  This goes along with step 4. That person you are connected with deserves to know what you're doing and why you're not communicating anymore. Be honest. Explain the confusion and the pain and that you need to figure things out. How would you like it if you keep calling, texting, IMming someone, and they just completely ignore you? It doesn't feel good. Treat others as you would like to be treated. Speak YOUR truth and then they will be forced to understand it. It might not go over very well, and that's why most people avoid doing it, but it's feels better in your own soul and your own being to be true and righteous. And, along with step 2, be honest to state that you CANNOT BE FRIENDS!

Step 6: Mourn your loss: You just let go of something connected to your heart, and it hurts like HELL. Don't deny that you have love or desire for this person (step 1), because it just makes things hurt worse when you find out that THEY'VE moved on. Accept that you love them, and mourn that they are gone now. You're grieving on "what could have been" not "what is". You're mourning your current circumstances of where you are NOW, and you don't want to be there. You want to have a clean and positive relationship that has a free and non constricting heart and love. Addiction is not part of love.

Step 7: Do What you Don't want to do: The current relationship that you are in, that's not your digital one, is broken and you should try to repair it even when you don't want to. Yeah. Do the steps of repairing it even when you're heart isn't in it. It feels fake and forced, because the feelings aren't there, it's with the other person, but doing something repeatedly makes it a habit, makes it become real. Sit down and have a chat of truthful things. If this can't happen, then it's time to take a break BUT PLAN A DATE WHEN TO COME BACK TOGETHER. It's important to have a break to bring back what's important in one's life.  Separation is a GOOD THING when used to heal a relationship. But you must plan to get back together. It's not a time to go have fun with someone else. This is alone time only. And if that current relationship isn't working for you, it's time to do step 4 - 6 with that person too. If children are involved, of course you can't break all connections, but make the focus on the children ONLY, and make the move to your new life which is NOT in a relationship. A relationship must come much later when you're all healed.

Step 8: Do stuff and Get Busy: It's the Do Today what you will put off tomorrow. There's some things that you had wanted to do and just felt you didn't have the time or money to do it. Start making those baby steps to DOING IT. The sense of accomplishing something will slowly fill you up inside where you were empty. This is something for yourself and NOT some external factor, addicting, emotional drugged relationship, that you felt would "save you". It's time to start getting busy for YOURSELF!

Step 9: Get away: If you can't afford to go on a trip, or check into a hotel, then take a walk around the neighborhood.  It's the physical removal that will help mentally remove your need for that person.

Step 10: Forgive yourself: Be honest. You've done some mean things. You were a part of having a relationship that was NOT working, rather you chose that person wrongly, or it was right "at the time", or you did something that cause them to distrust you and treat you differently, or for whatever reason...You MUST take your part of the blame to heal. Admit your wrong doings and then forgive yourself for doing them.

Step 11: Get some sponsors: Yep. Sponsors. Those who will support you while you're making your transition and self-change. You don't need the ones who will be negative towards you and your decisions, but one who will be supportive. That's what sponsors do. You'll need the support. You can't do it alone. You need POSITIVE support (I emphasize POSITIVE) from friends and family. It's not the Human Way to be alone. So start making a schedule when to hang out and talk on the phone and help paint their house.  You might not even want to do ANY of these things, but keeping busy and doing for someone outside yourself, helps decrease your need for that love or desire, slowly but surely, and bit-by-bit. And anytime you feel like falling off the wagon and reconnecting to that love/desire, you call your sponsor to walk you through the reasons why you need to stay on track.

Step 12: Believe in yourself: Everything you dream can exist, and it can only exist through achievement and success. This goes along with Step 8, where if you achieve something, you've completed it, and you feel successful. You can't start believing and loving yourself if you feel put-down all the time, rejected or that you always "f&$K stuff up"!!  Forging a path of things you CAN DO, is a path of loving yourself. And to love yourself will empower yourself and make your dreams come to you.

And with these steps, steps to healing yourself from addiction and past judgments, and doing these steps without going out to LOOK for your heart desire, everything that you want and dream will come to you!

I wish you the best of luck!

Until Next Time!

Fairy Tales, Fairy Tales...everywhere!

Just like in my blog: Stop Teasing....Let The Inhumane Get Some!, where all my wishes came true and I got what I wanted, the same goes with Fairy Tales.

In this modern day and age where  technology reigns and fantasies are limitless on the screen, everything that everyone had ever thought of, has ever dreamed of, has ever wished for, is being brought to life.

I've been watching Once Upon A Time and Grimm, and these two TV series keep my eyes glued. I like to record them, pile them up to about three episodes, and then....gorge!!!!!  If I had to actually wait every-single-darn-week, I wouldn't be too interested, to tell you the truth. But since I can watch the story lines consecutively, I'm hooked!

I'm not sure how long Grimm will last, but I do so enjoy the intrigue of the royal families' internal games and assassinations, and the really sexy prince, Captain Sean Renard (played by Sasha Roiz) that I had to raise my eyebrow at when he was on Caprica. It's those eyes and those eyelashes...oh my!! And then, when he gave a kiss to Juliette when she was in that coma...yeah. I had to now focus on his lips as well. Hubba. Hubba.

I also think Monroe, you know the wolf guy (Blutbad), the comic relief of the show...yeah...he's sexy too. I know. I know. He's silly and awkward looking, but I LIKES him. There's something about him that  makes me say, "Oh yeah! Sexy. Sexy." He's silly/nerdy, he's heartfelt, he's vicious! All the things I like. I Likey. I Likey.  This is an acting role that's making him shine, I think, and I hope he continues to get that spotlight.  For me, if it wasn't for his character, Grimm wouldn't be as much fun to watch.

I do hope we get more Hexenbiests on the show, though. They were scary and beautiful--a great combination for evil. And we like it when they're nice to look at and also like to rip out hearts.

And speaking of ripping out hearts, how we do like the Evil Queen (played by Lana Parrilla) in Once Upon A Time. She has those cute cheeks (that aren't rosy like Snow White's but cute nonetheless), and those perky little lips. Her smile can melt rose petals, and her tearful eyes filled with pain and anger are simply striking. I think I've mentioned it before, but I do so love evil characters that have a  background on why they became they way they did. Some are just prone for revenge when their hearts are broken, and they don't care who they hurt because they were hurt too. Yet, they seem to not have an "off switch" and just keep going. Hurting others.

I do love the slight twists of the fairy tales in Once Upon A Time, especially about Rumpelstiltskin who is Mr. Gold in the real world (played by Robert Carlyle). For him to also be The Beast for Belle in the twisted tale of Beauty and the Beast....that was an episode that would steal anyone's heart. "Skin Deep" (Season 1/Episode 12) was the best story yet to be told. I want to just keep that one hour episode in my pocket, and take it out when I'm in that romance type of mood.

And what about those lips on Prince Charming, eh? Oh yeah!!!! For something kissable, and a role that has a character that needs a lot of kissing, those of the lips one dreams of. Played by Josh Dallas, he's one convincing Prince for me!

And my cutie is Jiminy Cricket, played by Raphael Sbarge. His red hair and cute smile is just adorable! Too bad in Storybrooke he has to be a insect.

I'm definitely looking forward to the nun, Astrid, who is the clumsy fairy named Nova (played by Amy Acker from my favorite TV Series Angel), and Grumpy's (the town drunk, Leroy, in the real world) budding romance. I do hope they go back to their story. A love, not quite completed, is a hurtful thing indeed.

I haven't said much about the leading, and main, characters (Emma Swan, Henry Mills, etc.), because I see those around them being much greater. Yet, I wish that Red Riding Hood (played by Meghan Ory) would have a love of her own.

Again, my wishes come true, and I love the way fairy tales are being written and rewritten and incorporated into our "real" lives. Because I write along with those types of stories, of fairy tales, and I believe in the "Happily Ever After".  I'm so hooked on stories such as these. To show the dark side of life, and the "reality-prone" actions of those that surrounds you, does put that shadow-of-a-doubt that anything of light in stories could be real. Yet, the story is told and retold, which has to mean something!  We want those happily ever afters, and we love to watch them and hope. A mixture of reality and fairy tale is the perfect match for me, and I hope that it can be in your life, and mine, one day...if the right balance is achieved.

Until Next Time!

Fringe...My Two Cents

Fringe. I just wanted to put my two-cents on my over-all observation of this Science Fiction TV Series. Mainly, I'd like to talk about the characters.

Olivia Dunham: Played by Anna Torv. She doesn't give much out on emotions; however, I think that fits nicely with her abilities being similar to those of the Observers who don't have much emotions either. I didn't see too much of a different between her and her alternate universe version, though they did mention she "smiled more". I saw how the actor even change the way she walked, but her overall personality wasn't much of a change for me. That doesn't say that I don't like the character, but she's a character that goes along with a puzzle piece where she's needed, but not a main focus point, even though she is the main, and central character. She helps the story move along.

Peter Bishop: Played by Joshua Jackson. What can I say about ole baby face. He always looks like he's going to laugh. And when he was introduced as a genius, con man, and supposedly on a "bad list," I just didn't see it. Actually, I pretty much forgot about that part of his history as the seasons went on. His emotions, like Olivia, aren't very strong  though they are a wee bit higher than Olivia's. Yet, when these two are together, I can feel a strong connection. And when they talk together, Peter carries Olivia, where both characters become real. With each character alone, they're not much, but together, they carry out a connection with the audience.  You cannot  have one without the other, and both halves make a whole.

Walter Bishop: Played by John Noble. All I want to say is....Can I have one? Please! Please He's just SO CUTE! I love those cheeks of his, and his character never fails to make me laugh. There are some characters who are comic reliefs that, after some time, just makes you want to kick them. Walter Bishop never does. I look forward to his quirkiness and silly jokes each and every time. And when we met his alternate version... WOW!  All that fun went out the door when Mr. Serious stepped on the scene. I didn't like him at all, which makes a great actor indeed. I wanted my cuddly Walter Bishop back every time I saw the man. And THAT'S acting.

Phillip Broyles: Played by Lance Reddick. He's the same as Olivia and Peter. Not much personality here, but he's vital to making the puzzle complete. He's a believable leader and pretty much all I can see him as. I know he had a family, but I just don't see that loving father thing about him, though there were episodes of that...I just wasn't feeling it. He's a solid character, with a stern hand, and that makes a great character leader for this group.

Astrid Farnsworth: Played by Jasika Nicole. What a cutie! Yes, she is!! Now this is a character that transformed to someone else with her alternate version. She was even believable during her kick-ass scenes. Cute and a Kick-Ass? That's a combination that's hard to pull off, but she did it. You can see her utter concern for her fellow co-workers, and even her heart is shown, deeply, when she lied to her alternate version about her life. Also, back to her alternate version, again, this was acted so, so well. She's a puzzle piece that is vital to this Fringe Division. A care taker of them all, and a brain on top of it. I don't know about many, but I would miss her when she's not around.

Nina Sharp: played by Blair Brown. Not much to say here, though she does play her characters well. Rather it be good or evil, you can see them both. Being the counterweight to Phillip Broyles, these two are leaders, and you can't have a good team without them.

Observers: Last but not least, I had to talk about this group of people. They're smooth and emotionless ways make them definitely stand out amongst the rest. And it's not just because they have those shiny balds either. When they were just mysterious and helping and Observing, they were interesting; but when they took over the world, their sinister ways were ....well, pretty darn scary!!! Mixing up blood-dripping politeness and expressionless faces as they carve out your mind and feed it back to you.... Now THAT'S evil!

FIVE SEASONS - And I'm sure I missed some important things in my list, but I wanted to jot down those that stood in the forefront of my mind.  This is a series that kept it's characters going and it's story line remained fresh every step of the way. From dark scenes to light scenes; from mysterious to terrifying sinistering.

And I'm all in for entertainment.

Until Next Time!!!

Stay Connected To Your Light

"Don't Worry, Be Happy!" Words that are repeatedly stated in the same verse as it's title name, are something worth thinking about. As sung by Bobby McFerrin, worrying just makes it double, so it's best to not worry... But, do what?

Get Busy With Staying Connected To Your Light!!

Start up that day-to-day plan on how you're gonna get yourself out of that rut. Identify what it is that's making you unhappy and figure out how to change to. Just worrying and mulling around on something doesn't make it go away. It just puts you in a very bad way.

Staying connected with your light is the same as staying, and doing things, that make you happy. And if you're not happy, then you have to figure out why and make the steps to change it.

Trying to get over that "someone"? Tell yourself, each day, not ever week, that you're not going to call him/her and put yourself to work doing something else. Make that list of what's not so perfect about him/her and concentrate on what will be perfect for YOU.

Overwhelmed with bills? Ask for some help. And I don't mean go borrowing money, but get some financial guidance. Search online for free advice (you're online now, so you have access to the internet to do so). Start by concentrating on the SMALLEST bill first to pay off and then use that money to put on to the next bill. This gives you a sense of accomplishing something.

Can't accomplish a goal? Figure out the reasons why and DON'T make them ole excuses. Planning is always the key to finishing. Step-by-step is the way to reach heights.

Need some more help on how to stay connected to your light and be happy? I highly, highly, highly, highly (did I say highly? Yep. I'll say it again...), HIGHLY, recommended this book: Getting A Success Change: How To Be Happy In A World Gone Mad by Ed Brodow.. I talked about it in my blog...."I Hate Self-Help Books" But....  It will wake you up and make you remember who you are and where you want to be.

It's dark out there. Having your own light is your only guide, and way, out!

Until Next Time!

Stranger In Your House....Get Out!

You ever been that that heated discussion, or rather, argument where someone says to you, rather defiantly: "You don't know me!"

And you pause...a second.

And your response, having thought during that second, is that you've known this person over several years, or even raised this person, or married to this person, and they're claiming: "You don't know me!"

What does that actually mean?

What it means to "not know" something is to not to have knowledge about a certain, place, person or thing. And if this person is claiming that "you don't know" them, that means that they've been keeping some kind of knowledge from you. And if they're keeping something from you, then the next question is: Why?

I suppose, instead of saying, "Yes, I do! I've known you for such and such of amount of years!" Perhaps you should ask: "So, what are you saying? You keeping something from me?" And if the person chooses to bring you in on whatever it is, then you will know them again and closeness is re-established.  If they choose not too, and you hear them say this repeatedly to you, then...it's time to let go, and/or it's time to....

Throw That Stranger Out Your House!

No matter what we might think, people want to feel connected, and if you're not feeling a connection with whoever it is, then your house starts to feel COLD! It's time to WARM THING UP and make some changes and clean house.  Energy is wasted upon those who do not wish to share their heart, time, and entire Being with you. It feels a lot freer to point that energy towards those who you do connect with.

Trying to stay connected to a stranger, just keeps you in the dark and weighs you down.  It's best to look towards the lighter way of life--the life without so much weight of frustration, anger, confusion, and stress.

Let the dark stranger go, and you will feel your Fireworks!

The Calling Series: Book 2 and Book 3 Are Here!!

What a sigh of relief when a project is completed and done! It is definitely one of those times where you just want to lie back and eat Snickers and M&M's one by one...slowly.

Book 2 and Book 3 of The Calling Series is ready, done, completed and available! I got the paperback and book trailers ready to go too!

SIGH!!!

It's definitely a nice feeling to take a break, but then again, it will start all over with the next book or books on the work-shelf to complete.

I'll make this blog short, because I'm taking some leisure time before I have to start working on my other projects.

Below books are ready at Amazon, but it will be awhile before they appear in Barnes and Noble and iTunes and all the other locations. Just keep checking for you preferred book vendor, and it will be there.


Take a Look at the Book trailers and I hope you enjoy them!

Jetta (Book 2)

Creations (Book 3)

Be Happy... Or Else!!

Yes, I've been on hiatus for a few reasons, and one of the reason was a recent cruise where I saw the MOST funniest thing!

I was celebrating this year, a year where I am now 40 years old, along with my sister and close girlfriend from High School who both will also be turning 40 this year.

While I was on the ship, I observed two young girls, sisters, somewhere around six and eight years of age. The eldest had her arm around her young sister's neck and pulling her along. The youngest protested loudly, of course (it look very uncomfortable indeed) and the eldest shushed her and said,

"Be Happy... Or Else!"

I had to literally cover my mouth from laughing!!

This reminded me of how so many times we put ourselves in situations, or are in situations, where we are actually very unhappy, very uncomfortable, and very discontent, but people tell us that we should be happy!

"You have this, or that or what have you...so you should be happy!"
"You better be glad for..."
"Be satisfied with..."
"Don't do it..."
"Things could be worse..."
"You'll be sorry..."
"Fine, then! Don't listen to me..."
"Be happy...  Or..."

Be happy...Or Else! Or else what? Something worse will happen if we complain or try to break free from what is making us so miserable? Do we really know, really know, if "the else" would be worse? How would one know unless one finds out? Isn't that all about growing up and experiencing life?

My mom recently told me a story about myself when I was very young. I came running down the stairs one day, quite upset because I wanted to know why my brother could pee standing up and I couldn't?! Well, my mom referred me to my father to answer that uncomfortable question, and my father, seeming to always know what to say, told me, "Well, if it works for you, do it."

Well, I tried it and, of course, it didn't work for me, but at least I now knew, absolutely knew, the why.

How about asking those who warn you not to "do it" to be there for you if you find out you were wrong instead of saying, "I told you so"...? And if they say they won't be there for you, then... screw them! What are they really saying to you? Ask yourself if they are really displaying love. Do they really care for you? And why can't they show a little understanding and compassion?

I'm not referring to those who always seem to be right and you always seem to be wrong. Maybe then you need to listen and stop making the mistakes that they constantly tell you, you are making.  I'm talking about those life decisions that you just need to find out for yourself, and you know where you presently are is just not happy, and really, if it was suppose to be a "happy place" then you would be happy, right?

So what?! if where you end is worse or just as bad as where you've been, but at least your moving towards that end of where you really want to be. Make a decision and stick with it. And sticking with it is what will make the decision a right one. And then make a different one if it doesn't quite work out. At least you're not putting up with the stagnant position of where you are, but continue to make progress of where you want to be.

And, who knows, it might not be a mistake at all...and then what will the naysayers have to say?

Until Next Time!

I Hate "Self-Help" Books...But...

I really despise those "Self-Help" books. Not the DIY (Do-It-Yourself) types where it shows you how to replace your car's front headlights or how to fold a rose from a single ribbon (which is actually pretty cool by the way. I made boutineers!). I'm talking about those other books that try to help you out in your life during a life crisis. These book are either filled with flowery Hippie connotations, or those that give common sense statements that you've already heard before from family and friends, and those statements just weren't working for you.

 Then, there's those other books.... I really, really, really am annoyed and irritated with those books that start off really good, with a list of those questions you happen to be asking yourself, only to fall short with providing a REAL answer to your problem. That's the most upsetting, and I-wanna-bite-and-stab-something kind of feeling, that makes you throw the darn book out the window. This happens when a book seems to promise ANSWERS and give NOTHING to its resolution.

There's been a lot of soul searching I've run into and came across; and I ran into two books that has been quite a fun read. I was very, very reluctant at first to even take a look, but...I don't know...for some reason I took a peak at these and I actually like these books. And I really, really like this one: Beating the Success Trap: Negotiating Your Own Path to Success.

Now grant it, it's been years and years since I've actual sat down and read books back-to-back (I've read only two fantasy/Science Fiction books in the past three years) but these two "Self-Help" books came into my life while I was asking life questions and waiting for signs for answers. I know many don't believe in such things as signs, but I strongly do because I've always experienced getting answers when I seek them out. I wait on the signs to give me some guidance. Now, the signs don't tell me what to DO, but they do give me an idea, and provide situations, that help in making decisions I'm struggling with. And this book came my way right when I needed real answers--my sign.

I've been reading this "Success Trap" book whenever I got some free time (My PC Kindle states I've read about 65% of the book so far). It's pretty big.

It's mainly about how people spend their lives constructing things they don't want, and don't need, only to cut themselves off from their actual personal selves and dreams:

"When people are cut off from a personal connection to what they do in life, from being in alignment with who they really are, they become disenchanted, sometimes even bitter, and they end up seeking solace in drugs, alcohol, food, and sex. In extreme cases of mental anguish, they may often resort to violence."

This author, Ed Brodow, reminds me of those kind of people who just can't make up their minds on what they want to be and what they want to do in life. First he's going to law school (quits), goes into marines (ends), then back in corporate america (quits), and then he's an actor (stops), and then off somewhere else again. He reminds me of that "Rollin' Stone" song: "Wherever he lays his hat is his home". No commitment anywhere, constantly "looking for something," -- a wild and restless spirit. You know the kind, the ones that people keep saying to them that they will NEVER find WHATEVER it is that they seem to be looking for.

However....

This guy gives ANSWERS and is the perfect rolling-stone-type-of-guy to explain himself and why he's acting that way.  He gives example after example of states of unhappiness that keeps you reading, and then explains, YES HE EXPLAINS, the uncomfortable ways you have to get out of it. It is, indeed, a very deep struggle that you have to do in order to do what is written in this book to obtain happiness ... and very scary too.


Why is it scarrrrrry? Well because, what you would have to do goes against, practically, everything you think you understand and what you think you know. Then it just might isolate you from your family and friends once you've completed the steps. That is, if you have family and friends who truly love you and are willing to understand your drastic change of life, and can accept your new or different assertiveness of what you want, then you might not become a Scarlet Letter amongst everyone around you.

But in the end of it all, you're actually fighting for your Happy Ever After and you would be better for it, for you will be at peace, content, and most of all...have your dreams come true.



The other book, which I finished, was "The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts" by Gary Chapman. This book actually explained a lot, not just about marriages, but about relationships of people in general and what people actual NEED in their lives and how they need to have their needs met or their "love tank" will go empty resulting in bitterness and affairs. I say "need" several times in that sentence because it's an actual "need," just like food and water, that individuals must have in order to function and avoid physical and mental anguish. They need someone to communicate with on how they want to be loved.

As each of us are individuals, we require a individual type of love. Not all of us speak the same "love" language, and thus you must learn to speak the language of your special someone, and they have to learn to speak your language in order to communicate. The mistake is that most ASSUME that you want the same type of love, when actually yotu both can be very different.

For example, if you speak German and your significant other speaks Japanese, it will be really hard to express yourself and feel a connection with your languages being so far apart. You have to learn each other's language in order to feel as one, and that's what this book is all about.

Both books give steps or guidance on what you must do in order to achieve happiness, and reading them together this one year, brought about a certain enlightenment.

So, if you're looking for that path to your light of happiness, try reading "the why" on why the darkness happen and then you'll receive the answers to "the how" to achieve your light.

Make Me A Mixed Tape

Back in the day, guys would create mixed tapes for those special girls in their lives.  The tape was filled with words that they couldn't quite express, or found would be express more clearly...in music.


Music can speak volumes!


So, I watched Happy Feet Two, and I fell in LOVE with, what to me was, the pinnacle song of the movie. The original song is E lucevan le stelle (The stars were brightly shining) from the opera "Tosca" by Giacomo Puccini. 


And what does Happy Feet have to do with a mix tape, you might say? Well, if I was gonna have a mix tape, I want this song on it.


I know. I'm strange. But this song....


I don't know anything about the opera, but the song of this animated family musical was a delicious explosion to my ears!


The words wrapped up the feeling and story of the road that was being traveled by Mumble, the tapping penguin, sung by his young son Erik. And it went like this:

After all you have done, you really deserved better.Nothing makes sense in this world. It's all a big pile of crazy.

And the kings are all fools.  

Where is the honor, when a solemn promise is just a pretty lie?

And the mighty mock the courage of the humble. 

Although he's just an ordinary penguin...My daddy taught me. 
You don't need to be colossal, to be a great heart ♥. 
You don't need to fly, to be awesome. 

My hero, my father!

Erik's opera was touching! And the saying where "Action speaks louder than words?" Well, music speaks the words of the heart and the soul.


And you can put THAT, your heart and soul, into a mix tape.


Where we lack in communication, it can be fulfilled with music.


If you hunger for love and affection in the deep, physical kind of way, David Guetta - Turn Me On sung by Nicki Minaj, can express it for you.


If you're really wanting someone to know you care, but you're afraid to let them know about it by speaking the actual words, Bound To You from the film Burlesque, sung by Christina Aguilera, can speak those words for you.


If you want to repeat those "I love you" statements, in a different way, I'm Into You sung by Jennifer Lopez, and rapped by Lil Wayne, can redefine your words for you.


If people are talking about you and you're tired of them "throwing stones" about your short-comings, or they're hating ''cause you're brave to do what is considered by society as "immoral" when they feel they can't, Britney Spears's I Wanna Go and Christina Aguilera's  Dirrty can remind you to stay strong and be proud. 


If you want to make light of the situation of Haters Hating you, have Charlie Puth's Haters Follow Me Like Twitter help you rub it in their faces.


Been cheated on? Carrie Underwood's Before He Cheats and Melanie Fiona's 4AM can help you ease your pain by understanding you.


Been dumped? Stacie Orrico's Stuck can relate, and Mariah Carey's We Belong Together can tell that person you made a mistake and that you want them back.


Wanna Blow someone's mind? Do it with Whoa!!

• Mya's My Love Is Like...Wo
• Aly & AJ's Like Whoa
• And make your man say, "Oh" with Christina Milian's tips in her song Dip It Low

And if you're wishing for those bright lights in a big city; to be famous and rich, then, Jay-Z and Alicia Keys's song Empire State of Mind will empower you; and Travie McCoy's, featuring Bruno Mars, song Billionaire, can wish it out loud and scream it to the world for you.

Yeah. That's right! Make a mixed tape of your life and bring to your heart and soul the strength it needs to lift it up!  Lift up with music.

Music is definitely a gift to help when spirits are down. It definitely lifts you UP!

Until Next time!

Signs of the Universe

When something happens that's uncanny or unexpected or can't be defined or explained, we usually say these things:

"It's a Small World!"
"Huh. Fathom that?"
"I had a feeling that..."
"What a coincidence!"
"Déjà vu."
"Something told me to..."
"What's the odds of that!"
"Speak of the Devil..."
"That's weird. I was just thinking about..."

At one time or another, we've all experienced something odd to some degree. And it makes me wonder, sometimes, "What does that mean?"  Heck, we have defintions and even statements of things that we don't even believe in. I mean, who came up with the word "aura". Why would someone even THINK of such a thing?

You can't see it!

We experience these weird occurances in our lives all the time--something actually real and can be felt. Yet, we write them off, or shrugg them off, or turn away from these things as if they were just "things that happen."

Why do we do that?
Is these happenings THAT SCARY?
I think so.

Something that can't be defined or explained is very scary. We don't have control over it. It "just happens". For those who are a bit more brave, they may add further statements of definitions like: "The Powers that be" or "The Universe". Other's define it with dieties: god or devil.

No matter what the something is, we all know about it, or are at least aware of it.

I, myself, kind of like the Signs of the Universe. It keeps things interesting. We need a few things to shake up the mundane in our lives now and then; to wake us up; give us an eyebrow lift.

Sometimes signs helps us avoid a bad situation, or helps us make a good decision.

Your body definitely gives you signs!

If you're working too hard, you get sick so that you can rest.  You might get migraines if things are not going right in your life and your body is forcing you to make the RIGHT decision so that you won't be in pain anymore. Not discussing fear in these next examples, but sometimes you might break out in hives, or get a belly ache, or experience anxiety for NO REASON, and that is telling you something as well.

There are road signs from the Universe -- EVERYWHERE -- to help us out while we travel the road of life.


If only we would listen....

Hooking Up? Uh...No, no thanks..And I MEAN IT!

You know, when I was single, I just wanted to find THE ONE, but for some reason, I kept running into a slew of people who just wanted to HOOK UP.

Even when I wrote in on my profile that I wasn't interested in the "Come Over" type, it was still misinterpreted that I was saying "no" only temporary and will be saying YES at the end.

Uh. No.

When I said I want to meet in the public arena for a date, that means just that. When I said, "No, you're not coming over," or "No, I'm not interested in meeting at your place" I meant just that. When I tell you that I'm not into the "Can I come over" type of person, I meant just that. When I said I'm NOT going to sleep with you on the first, second, third, fourth, fifth, or whenever date, I meant JUST THAT!

Why, even today, I'm on a site that is MORE than just a place to "hook up". I can also network there. However, I've been told "YOU NEED TO GET OFF THE SITE" because I happen to respond to an email with a question, or I followed up on what I "thought" was a genuine question to my interest in writing and my books. But because I "responded" to the email, that immediately gave the impression that I wanted to Hook Up?

Huh?

That wasn't a legitimate question you asked in the email then, right? Really? And my response pissed you off because YOU weren't sincere in your email, or you couldn't read my sincere intent on asking a question in response to your email. Really?

Why am I getting misinterpreted time and time again? I mean, I state very clearly my intention in the response, and even repeat that I'm not looking for anything more than just what I stated, and that I'm just answering your question, or asking one in turn, yet still I get these PEOPLE who can't seem to read a response for its LITERAL meaning!

These occurrences are on sites where it is clearly NOT only for dating, but for community thoughts and interests and job findings as well.

I don't get it.

Has the world gone so much insane that plain, written down English isn't "exactly" what a person means?

Have people said, "No," which then turned to "Yes," that often, and done it so much, that NO ONE believes you when you actually mean "No"?

That's kind of scary actually. Wow.

Even those "Christian" sights for finding "The One" is just as bad, no even worse, than those dating sights that aren't. People are there, on a "Christian" online dating site, trying to get their horizontal dance on!

Really?

Has online sites actually turn to more than just "finding The One" but into a big orgy for the world instead? Is internet really just for porn, like Avenue Q sings about?

Back in the day, when there were just a select few people online, and those were the geeks--those who knew how to work on a computer, write a sensible sentence, and enjoy intellectual conversation, I liked the environment much better. There wasn't much misinterpretation, and what someone wanted and didn't want was plainly understood. There was no back-lashing of insults if someone just wasn't interested in what you wanted. It was more of a: "Okay. Thank You," or "Sorry to bother you" ... a lot more courtesy back then in the early 1990s--the AOL days.

But today, there can be someone who claims to have two or three degrees, but type like someone who's in elementary, and can't seem to understand literal typed meanings AND they want to HOOK UP!

Huh? I don't get it.

I guess you can say I could just stop responding to emails, and/or change sites. But what if you've been on that site for years and you like what it does and stands for? What if someone really was legitimate in their email...one day? I would miss out. I guess I just have to wait out these slew of wolves and hunters and allow them to parade on by, eventually finding something or someone or some other site of interest to devour--just wait for the wave to change as it always does.


Sigh. I tell ya. The world has gone mad!

Vacation to play Diablo III? Uh huh...

So, yep, I got a gamer (i.e. hubby) who's taking a 3-day vacation to play Diablo III. Well, actually it's a 3.5 day vacation, because he started playing tonight (Tues), and will be off the next three days (Wed, Thurs, Fri). He picked up his pre-ordered copy today.

"Look. Look," he said with a HUGE GRIN, holding up this large box as soon as I came walking in the door from work. And I looked at this box and I'm thinking, What the heck's in there! All that for a CD?

We'll apparently the gamer (i.e. hubby) got the collector edition. It comes with all sorts of goodies: an artistic book, a USB stick with Diablo II on it (with a very nice holder, I might add, with a Soul Stone stuck in Diablo's head), some invites for friends to come and join you in this parade of gaming, a soundtrack and some added background information (Behind The Scenes and the Cinematics) on the game on a Blu-Ray disk, also with DVD disk...one of both.

The movies are I N C R E D I B L E!!

I took a picture of this huge box, sitting next to my Stargate coaster. It's a pretty nice box.

The gamer (i.e. hubby) also wanted me to review the book with art, which he knew I would like. And let me say, I flipped gradually through the pages and eyed all sorts of imagination. The grotesque images on some of these demons were pretty cool. I like the faceless angels and the different way of depicting their wings. I really like the map, because that's my thing that I'm partial to about books--maps inside books...I just LOVE.

The book even mentions one female character, which they wanted to emphasize her strength and courage, and not all the "sexy" qualities about her. Hmm... Now, THAT was different. But, I do say I like the sexy in the games, and so do Gamers. They do give that sexy-stuff with some other female characters, as well as a naked Harpie type of thing--nipples showing and all.

For three-minutes when the Gamer (i.e. hubby) walked away to tend to house chores, I took the PC mouse and moved the character around a bit. I just love the detail of these games! The Gamer (i.e. hubby) doesn't look at all of that. He wants to immediately "level up" and kill! kill! kill!  I like to view the art and the details painted and drawn inside houses and on characters and the food sitting on tables. Unfortunately, this game is similar to those where you can't zoom in to get all that nice detail in full, but it's clear enough. I like to get close in personal...and maybe one day, they will make all games like that. You know, give that option for those who like that.

The only frustration about the game, just for now, is that you have to have internet connection at ALL TIME to play, and the servers get FULL! The swarm of Gamers are, basically, overloading the system, and that was definitely expected since that, of course, happened during the free Beta testing that was available during a weekend in April. The forums are overloaded and slow, slow, slow, too.  The patient, but anxiously waiting, Gamer, gets kicked out of his game occasionally as they work on servers (they give an announcement with a count-down...which you better heed or you'll loose all your stuff!). He also has to wait for newly created characters to save on the server as well...a long wait for him. But once he's in, it works great, and he can keep his spot for a few hours of gaming!

Eventually, the activity on the servers will level out. This bottle-neck right now will ease up. That's the way these things go when they're new.

Needless to say, I'll be a gaming widow for the next several weeks, even though the gamer (i.e. hubby) took a 3-day vacation start to enjoy his fantasy world.

I can understand that. I'm in a fantasy world EVERY SINGLE DAY, with my stories in my head and wishful thinking of this and that of the fantastic. Writers fantasize daily!

It's always fun to be taken out of this world, and take that carpet ride to A Whole New World.

And Gamers's got it like that!

Until Next time :)

Apologies Will Slowly Kill You

I just love how the characters on Spartacus say, "Apologies." It sounds so cute and...proper.

But, really, one needs to only accept, "I'm sorry," only so many times.

My limit is three (3). Depending on what the apology is, sometimes I can only go up to two (2)--especially if it's about the SAME THING.

If someone does it once, that can be forgiven, but if they do it a SECOND time, the same exact thing...well, that goes into premeditated, and intentional.

It's really beneficial to yourself to stay away, and run far, far away, from those who keep apologizing to you.

Apologies should MEAN something, just like a PROMISE. If someone apologizes to you, it should be sincere and it's supposed to be a promise that it won't happen again. At least, that's how it should be.

It doesn't mean anything if it's constantly REPEATED!

And if you're the one who is constantly hearing it, don't you know that it's sucking the life out of you? Yeah, they're like Vampires, draining you drop by drop of your life blood.

"I said I was sorry!"

Uh Huh. Don't you feel the fangs digging in? Slurp. Slurp. Slurp.

Ask yourself why you're tolerating being hurt and disappointed by this "person" constantly. I I put "person" in quotes, because they really aren't people anymore. They're life suckers!

Forget about their excuses on the reasons "why" they did it; forget about "how hard they had it in life;" forget about all the "woes is me" they put out there to make you feel bad (even if you DID do something wrong to them, you don't have to constantly try to make up for it. Did I say constantly? Yeah, Constantly, as in repeatedly, always happening again and again. Forgive yourself because their actions should tell you that they aren't ever going to forgive you); and forget "the consequences" that you think would come if you don't accept the sorries.

Free yourself from the chains that pull at your heart.

And yeah, it's gonna hurt, because we won't so much to believe that things will change...someday. And letting go is never easy.

But, MAN does it feel good after you do!

I'm sorry, but it will :)

Need Help? Been There, Done That.

Those who extend a helping hand to those who are unhappy, uncertain, lonely, confused, angry, and filled with anxiety, these helping-hand people who have the answers to help those in emotional need, aren't perfect themselves.

That statement isn't a put-down, like those who revel in the thought of a fallen "So-called Christian". It is a beginning of a reasoning on the WHY you can resolve your problems with the help of those who also have them.

A combined effort of people who are alike to help one another is the only reason why those who TRULY seek help can fix themselves. Don't put down those with normal, but not with immoral, problems, because they are Human. YOU are Human, which makes ALL of us ALIKE. We can identify with each other. We can understand each other. We are familiar with each other. We are CONNECTED to each other...because we are alike.

How many times have you heard these statements:

"You don't really know until you've walked in my shoes."
"You don't know what it was like. You weren't there."
"Well...I'm not you, am I?"
"Of course, YOU wouldn't understand."
"You get it!"

One needs to have what is in likeness in order to feel connected. With that connection, you feel comfortable and understood. That person gets you. And that's all that you need to start the steps to fixing yourself, because the one in front of you, the one who is helping you, has been there.

If you TRULY want to change, seek those of likeness, and go towards the change.
There are those who TALK that TALK, but don't take the steps to WALK that WALK. They don't want to make a change that would solve their problems...they just like to TALK about it.

But those who truly want to change and take that walk, they understand that those steps are very, very hard to face, are very,very hard to make. Those steps are very, very (did I say very again? Why, yes I did) very, very uncomfortable, unnatural, insane, and fearful. Sometimes the steps take you away from family and friends and jobs because you wake up and learn that you have steps that you must walk ALONE, and that you must take yourself outside of the "normal" world for some time in order to accomplish fixing yourself.

Fight against those common words:
"Are you going through a mid-life crisis?!"
"That's just the way things are!"
"You think you can do better!"
"There's nothing more than this."
"You have So MUCH! Why are you willing to just throw it all away? And for what?"
"The grass isn't always greener."

Maybe sometimes having EVERYTHING isn't what you want. Maybe having what people consider NOTHING would make you happy. Maybe having MORE is not what you need. Maybe you need something DIFFERENT in order to be happy.

I'm not talking about not facing your Fears where you have to take responsibility, or go outside yourself for someone else for the greater good. I'm not talking about those situations where you can feel when you must do Right but just afraid to do it.

I'm talking about the sensation of doing what is Right for yourself that you know should be done, but are afraid to do it.

Find your happiness and don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. There are those who have been there, done that...and they know you. Or they're extending a hand to you to also help themselves.

Finding happiness, finding a good connection, finding Love for yourself IS a Battlefield.

But you must remember, there's always Night Before Day.

Stop Teasing! Let the Inhumans Get Some! And Live Happily Ever After!

Sometimes an author runs into some old writing that makes them laugh. Back in the day, there was a website called ThemeStream, and it allowed authors to post their stories. The more reads that a post got, the more money the author acquired...but then the website went under.

Here's one of my postings on the website back in 2001. Of course, decades later, none of this applies anymore and my wishes have been met, but reading my frustration at that time was really funny. Enjoy!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Stop Teasing!  Let the Inhumans Get Some! And Live Happily Ever After!

There he is!  The handsome vampire.  He’s leaning over a beautiful, exotic woman.  They’re kissing, they’re groping, she moans, he does too, the scene is tantalizing.  Then . . . his three-inch fangs appear and . . . it’s over.

What a let down!  Ok, calm yourself.  Let’s try again.  Next scene . . .

Species (1995)

She’s there, and he’s there.  Their eyes link.  They’re both willing.  The breathing increases.  They come together in a heated embrace, they’re kissing, they’re groping, she moans, and he does too.  Then . . . she turns into some hideous alien and kills him.

Aarrrrrrrgggghhhhh!  Stop the teasing!!

Why can’t the alien, the vampire, the supernatural, the whatever, get some and have a “happily ever after?”  If it isn’t one thing, it’s another.  Let’s go down the list.

1) Vampires:  We know, usually they don’t have sex and if they do, they’ve turned into some kind of big dog or vapor rub, and they still kill their partner since they get sexual intimacy confused with food.  So, forget about the “happily ever after”, since they would burn up during the sunset anyway . . . and they get killed at the end of the movie.

2) Werewolves:  Well, they get some only when they’re human and if they do have sex during their transformation, they either eat their partner or use them as a scratching post.  They get killed at the end too.

The Entity (1982)

3) Mummies: Hmmmm, they’re just old and decaying and it would probably fall off if they tried.  But, those who can get some usually tie their partner down on some altar to be sacrificed so that they could bring back their “real” true love that their victim reminds them of.  Oh yeah, they re-die at the end too.

4) Ghosts/Entities:  Despite the fact that you can’t see them (which doesn’t do much for the sex scene), they usually can’t touch anything either.  And if they can touch, they’re too angry to think about sex anyway.  Instead, they want to throw things around or do some vengeance thing.  Most times they’re simply demonic:  they just want to go out and kill people.  Yet, in those rare cases that they do have sex, their partner is more than likely unwilling and ends up in the hospital after the encounter, trying to get some scientists to put the thing in a block of ice.

The Fly (1986)

5)  Mutants:  Oh, now these guys do get their girl.  But it’s mostly rape and the female ends up pregnant and dies from an exploding uterus (Except for the woman who had great sex with her mutant partner--though human-looking at the time—but she had to kill the insane thing.  Now, she did have a natural childbirth . . . then she died of fright looking at the larva thing squirming in the doctor’s hand.  The poor woman died unnecessarily since she didn’t wait for the doctors to open the thing up to see that it did look human . . ..  But, then the child turned into a fly years later, then turned human again, so she missed out on his wonderful development).

Starman (1984)

Starcrossed (1985)

6)  Aliens:  Just like the Mutants.  Female partners still die from an exploding uterus, rather they’re willing or not.  However, these guys come very close to a “happily ever after”.   They’re usually disguised as humans (which is a cop-out with special effects, but that’s another story), so the sex scene are just like R-rated movies, human with human basically, but still wonderful sex.  Then . . . the alien either has to fly off, returning to his planet because the government is harassing him, or she needs to go home teach her fellow aliens what she learned from Earth to save her planet from enslavement, or he has limited time that he can survive on Earth, thus, leaving his broken hearted lover stranded behind (since she either can’t survive on his planet or it’s to dangerous for her to come along), never to see her again.

Stop the teasing!!

Toxic Avenger (1984)

I want some action!  I want some start-to-finish sex with no death or exploding fetuses!  I want a “happily ever after” ending, and I don’t want it to be a cult or B-rated movie that’s absolutely silly.  Yeah, you’ve seen him.  Him and his voluptuous, blind girlfriend.  Sure, the toxic guy gets the girl, has a “happily ever after,” sort of, and yes he does get some; but the scenes are so silly, you can’t possibly be aroused.  And let’s not forget the slapstick movies where the vampire does get the girl, and lives, but the guy isn’t at all attractive.  He’s either too old, too ridiculous to be taken serious, or Adam Ant.

Adam Ant (1993)

The only inhuman guy that actually got the girl was that purple hair alien who came down with his yellow and red goofy friends to get laid by some Earth chicks.  After getting a whole body shave and skin-dyed, he was one handsome human-looking hunk.  And the sex scene . . . well, it wasn’t memorable.  But then again, this was a slapstick/comedy movie and I want R-rated!!

Earth Girls Are Easy (1988)

So, if any of you out there who’s reading this can suggest a good R-Rated, Sci-fi flick with supernatural characters who: have willing partners, gives a great alien and human sensual sex scene (not alien-that-looks-like-human with human), have a wonderful romantic plot and has a “happily ever after,” I would really like to see one.  Until then, I guess I’ll have to stick with the flicks that thinks it’s too taboo to have erotic relationships on the big scene with the inhuman; or I'll just settle down with an unconstrained, sci-fi author’s book and use my imagination.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 

LOL!  Well, as I've stated, decades later, my wishes have been answered. I got TV series like True Blood, Game of Thrones, and Being Human to satisfy my appetite. 

Wow... how time changes.

Until Next Time!